In my career as an ambassador, there was hardly any protocol-related issue that occupied me as frequently as seating arrangements. That is why I devote nearly 40 pages to the topic in my book “Umgangsformen” (Etiquette), complete with numerous examples and a total of 40 diagrams. Admittedly, this is more for social “professionals.” However, everyone should know a few basic rules. They will make seating guests easier.        

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These basic rules include:

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·       Round tables simplify seating arrangements, as there's no "head" or "tail" to the table.

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·       (Married) couples are not seated next to each other. They have plenty of opportunities to converse at home. However, if there are shy, socially inexperienced wives who insist on sitting next to their husbands, grant their wish. The goal is for them to feel comfortable.

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·       A lady should not sit at the end of the long side of a rectangular table. She should have someone to talk to on both sides. However, this effect can also be achieved by seating guests at the head of the table. Then the conversation flows freely.

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·       At a round table, the center is where the host and hostess sit. At rectangular tables, they sit at the head of the table or—preferably, since they are then closer to all guests—in the middle of the table. This is not always geometrically possible, but it is also not necessary. The asymmetrical battle formation already led to success at the Battle of Leuctra. If the hosts do not sit directly across from each other, this can even have its advantages, namely when the guest of honor sitting to the right of the hostess is then seated directly across from the host.

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·       As a general rule, seats are arranged in a mixed-gender order. However, this does not apply to business dinners. The professional hierarchy is “gender-neutral.” What matters is rank, not the gender of the diners. Therefore, the administrative assistant is not seated next to the male boss or the male administrative assistant next to the female boss simply to maintain a mixed-gender order, while the department head sits further down the table.

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·       There are certain numbers of guests that make seating arrangements easier for married couples. These are 6, 10, 14, and so on. For example, if you have two married couples as guests, seat the two men next to the hostess and the two women next to the host so that no married couple sits next to each other. This works for both rectangular and round tables. And it can be scaled up to accommodate larger groups (in increments of 4 people).